Monday, October 17, 2011

Shepherding a Child's Heart

This book has been on my shelf for awhile and I'm so glad I finally got around to reading it!  I can't say enough good things about it.


I read this book for 2 reasons.  One is that I deal with discipline issues weekly at my job and am constantly talking to kids who don't have disciple at home.  I so wish I had read this book 3 years ago!  I also read the book as it is my desire to be a stay at home mom one day, and I know I will be going to the book as a resource many time raising my own children.  Some people may think the book is only for older children, but I'm actually glad I read it before having children.  It really helps with my mindset of focusing on the overflow of the heart which is the "why" instead of the "what" of behavior.  We all know that you can see a child's sinful nature at a very young age.  The book also talks about how your parenting goal cannot simply be well behaved children. Your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change.  Their bad behavior reflects the heart...so having them change their behavior doesn't necessarily change their heart.  That is not easy to do and definitely takes time. 

Here are just a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

"As a parent, you must exercise authority. You must  require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you.  You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them."

"If you correct and discipline your children because God mandates it, then you need not clutter up the task with your anger. Correction is not displaying your anger at their offenses:  it is rather reminding them that their sinful behavior offends God.  It is bringing his censure of sin to these subjects of his realm.  He is the King.  They must obey." 

"The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever;  therefore, your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children.  From the earliest days, they must be taught that they are creatures made in the image of God--made for God. They must learn that they will "find themselves" as they find Him."

"The central focus of childrearing is to bring children to a sober assessment of themselves as sinners.  The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your childrearing."

"God has given two methods for childrearing.  They are communication and the rod.  These methods must be woven together in your practice.  Your children need to be known and understood.  Thus, rich communication is necessary.  They are also need authority and firmness.  Thus, the rod is necessary. The rod functions to underscore the importance of the things you talk about with them"

"Obedience means more than a child doing what he is told.  It means doing what he is told without challenge, without excuse and without delay. If you accept other responses, you are training your children to disobey."

"The way you respond to disappointment with your authorities in the society, at the job, and in the church, teaches your children how to be under authority.  The attitudes you display teach either biblical submission or unbiblical independence and rebellion."

"God has promised that children who honor and obey will have things go well for them and will enjoy long life on the earth. Obviously, the child who submits to parental authority is richly blessed." 

There is also a lot of great information about spanking that is just too much to write in here.  It explains the when, how, and why of spanking and has some great insights.  The book also states that the rod is primary because God has commanded it.  If you fail to spank, you fail to take God's word seriously.  God calls parents to spank their children.

I also love the insight the book gives on raising teenagers.  Though that is very far off for us, I have always loved working with teenagers and learned a lot from reading those chapters as well.  I love how the book emphasizes that the most powerful way to keep your children from being drawn to the world or wicked actions is to make home an attractive place to be.  "Young people generally do not run from places where they are loved and know unconditional acceptance.  They do not run from home where there are solid relationships.  They do not run from homes in which the family is planning activities and doing exciting things."

I pray that I will strive to raise children in church and in my own home who display the greatness, goodness, and glory of  God.  I pray that they will understand that the greatest delight they can ever experience is found in delighting in the God who has made them for His glory. 

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Celebrating our first anniversary

Yes, I know I already posted about our 1 year anniversary but since I'm such a sentimentalist I had to put some pics up.  We first had our getaway celebration 2 weeks before our actual anniversary because it was our only free weekend we had to do it.  I love Bed and Breakfasts and Justin and I had never been to one together before.  I researched lots of them in the Hill country and found one I thought we both would like.  Since Justin is working so hard with grad school on top of working a very stressful job, we just wanted to get away and relax and not have anything planned.  We spent 2 nights in the Bed & Breakfast in Canyon Lake.  Our big, cozy room had a balcony overlooking the lake that was beautiful. 





There was also deer everywhere that we could feed at anytime. 



We went to lots of amazing restaurants that the B&B recommended and visited a winery which was also a fun experience.  We walked around a lot and just enjoyed quality time together and being outdoors.  It was relaxing, romantic, fun and a great way to celebrate our 1st anniversary together.



Then on our actually anniversary, October 2nd, we went to a very romantic restaurant called Michelangelo's here in Houston. 





We then went to the Omni hotel where my family and bridesmaids stayed the night before our wedding and where Justin and I stayed on our wedding night.  They gave us a free room to use on our anniversary which was awesome!  The service there is amazing and they had chocolate covered strawberries there waiting for us.  And of course we also had our cake topper that my mom froze for us to eat on our 1 year anniversary.  Though Justin may have been skeptical...it definitely tasted just as good.  I forgot how good that cake was! 


We also walked around outside since the grounds is so beautiful there.  We went back to the bench where we prayed together the night before our wedding when he dropped me off after our rehearsal dinner.  Oh memories!!



I'm so thankful for a wonderful hubby and a great first year together! 


Sunday, October 2, 2011

1 Year Anniversary

October 2, 2010 We said I Do


We did it!  We made it through our 1st year of marriage!



I really can't believe Justin and I have been married a year already.  It feels like just yesterday we were busily planning our wedding.  Of course the days seem to crawl by so slowly when we were engaged, but after we got married, it just flew by.  I still remember our wedding day so vividly as it was not only the best day of my life but also the most fun I have ever had!  I had a blast at our wedding and am just so thankful for a special day to look back on.



Everyone says the first year is the hardest and in some ways it was...and in other ways it seemed so natural. Though it was hard at times, I am more madly in love with Justin than I was a year ago and I am just so thankful the Lord brought us together!




Justin and I have been through a lot during our first year and have already made many special memories together.  We have gone through good times and hard times but are definitely closer through it all. Here are some of the big moments of year one:
  • Moving into our first place together!
  • First vacation together-our amazing honeymoon
  • First Thanksgiving and Christmas together
  • Made some big decisions together
  • Justin applied and was accepted into grad school
  • Joined a newlywed class at church
  • Visited Justin's grandparents in McAllen
  • Went on a road trip to San Antonio and Fredricksburg
  • Went on our first mission trip together
  • Found out we were pregnant
  • Grieved the loss of our first baby
  • Justin starting grad school
  • Joined our first fantasy football team
  • Stayed at our first B&B together for our 1 year anniversary
Looking back, it's hard to believe that all of that happened during our first year.  We may not be the best example of "taking a year off" during your first year of marriage, but we know this was all apart of God's plan for us and we have grown so much closer through it all.  I am just so thankful I am able to spend the rest of my life with my best friend.  Happy Anniversary Justin, looking forward to spending many many more years together! I'm crazy about you!