I read this book for 2 reasons. One is that I deal with discipline issues weekly at my job and am constantly talking to kids who don't have disciple at home. I so wish I had read this book 3 years ago! I also read the book as it is my desire to be a stay at home mom one day, and I know I will be going to the book as a resource many time raising my own children. Some people may think the book is only for older children, but I'm actually glad I read it before having children. It really helps with my mindset of focusing on the overflow of the heart which is the "why" instead of the "what" of behavior. We all know that you can see a child's sinful nature at a very young age. The book also talks about how your parenting goal cannot simply be well behaved children. Your children must also understand why they sin and how to recognize internal change. Their bad behavior reflects the heart...so having them change their behavior doesn't necessarily change their heart. That is not easy to do and definitely takes time.
Here are just a few of my favorite quotes from the book:
"As a parent, you must exercise authority. You must require obedience of your children because they are called by God to obey and honor you. You must exercise authority, not as a cruel taskmaster, but as one who truly loves them."
"If you correct and discipline your children because God mandates it, then you need not clutter up the task with your anger. Correction is not displaying your anger at their offenses: it is rather reminding them that their sinful behavior offends God. It is bringing his censure of sin to these subjects of his realm. He is the King. They must obey."
"The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever; therefore, your objective in every context must be to set a biblical worldview before your children. From the earliest days, they must be taught that they are creatures made in the image of God--made for God. They must learn that they will "find themselves" as they find Him."
"The central focus of childrearing is to bring children to a sober assessment of themselves as sinners. The cross of Christ must be the central focus of your childrearing."
"God has given two methods for childrearing. They are communication and the rod. These methods must be woven together in your practice. Your children need to be known and understood. Thus, rich communication is necessary. They are also need authority and firmness. Thus, the rod is necessary. The rod functions to underscore the importance of the things you talk about with them"
"Obedience means more than a child doing what he is told. It means doing what he is told without challenge, without excuse and without delay. If you accept other responses, you are training your children to disobey."
"The way you respond to disappointment with your authorities in the society, at the job, and in the church, teaches your children how to be under authority. The attitudes you display teach either biblical submission or unbiblical independence and rebellion."
"God has promised that children who honor and obey will have things go well for them and will enjoy long life on the earth. Obviously, the child who submits to parental authority is richly blessed."
There is also a lot of great information about spanking that is just too much to write in here. It explains the when, how, and why of spanking and has some great insights. The book also states that the rod is primary because God has commanded it. If you fail to spank, you fail to take God's word seriously. God calls parents to spank their children.
I also love the insight the book gives on raising teenagers. Though that is very far off for us, I have always loved working with teenagers and learned a lot from reading those chapters as well. I love how the book emphasizes that the most powerful way to keep your children from being drawn to the world or wicked actions is to make home an attractive place to be. "Young people generally do not run from places where they are loved and know unconditional acceptance. They do not run from home where there are solid relationships. They do not run from homes in which the family is planning activities and doing exciting things."
I pray that I will strive to raise children in church and in my own home who display the greatness, goodness, and glory of God. I pray that they will understand that the greatest delight they can ever experience is found in delighting in the God who has made them for His glory.
