Callie Grace Cummings

Deep down inside, I have always wanted a little girl.  Don't get me wrong, I am crazy about my little boy and the bond we have and absolutely love having a boy....but when we found out we were having a girl, I was so thrilled.  Cooper and Justin have such a special bond, they go off and do a lot of "boy" things together just the 2 of them, and I love it.  I was so looking forward to having some "girl" time with our Callie.  I was blessed with a wonderful pregnancy with Callie, no complications and fairly easy overall.  Then on December 17, 2014 we welcomed the most beautiful baby girl into the world.  Callie Grace was born at 3:46pm.  She was 7lb 13 oz, 20 in. Like a typical girl, her arrival came with some drama.  You can read more about the famous epidural (or lack thereof) and her birth story here.

Callie's trademark were her cheeks.  She had the cutest, sweetest, biggest cubby cheeks.  Every nurse, doctor, friend, or random person who came in our room would comment on her cheeks.  She was famous for them.  I love them.  Justin and I would joke that we couldn't see her chin.  Where was her chin??  Her cheeks just took over her face.

The cheeks did die down some over time, but thankfully not too much and they were just irresistible to kiss.  She had beautiful brown hair and big hazel eyes.  I kept thinking her eyes would change color, but they never did.  Some days they looked blue, some days they looked green or even brown.  They were so unique and beautiful.  She looked so different than Cooper.  Cooper is very white and got the Collier white gene as we say.  Callie didn't quite get her Daddy's olive completion, but she did get a good mix of Justin and I and she had beautiful skin.  To say we were smitten was an understatement.

We did have a difficult first 3 months with Callie.  She was colicky, had reflux and was pretty miserable, especially in the evening.  It was a hard season to go through, but sure enough right at 3 months of age, she turned into a different baby.  She was SO happy and easy going.  She loved life and she adored her big brother.  She loved being on her stomach and rolled over very early and kept rolling to get where she wanted to go.  She was honestly such an easy baby after those first 3 months. She was so independent from the earliest age and could really entertain herself.  When she started sitting up, I would place different toys around her and she would just play and play and I wouldn't hear a peep out of her.   She hardly cried unless she was tired. She was a great sleeper,  put herself to sleep on her own with zero training and started sleeping through the night at 6 months.  She ALWAYS woke up so happy and playful.

It was such a JOY to get her up every morning.  She slept with a lot of stuffed animals and especially loved her stuffed lamb that Mimi bought for her.  She would throw her stuffed animals out of her crib when she woke up from naps and in the morning.  Cooper always woke up earlier than Callie, and every morning he would BEG me to get Callie up.  I would always say no, we needed to wait until she woke up.  Once he heard the smallest peep out of her (she never cried, she would wake up "talking"), he would run in her room and say "good morning Callie" and they would both laugh and giggle.  Cooper also loved getting in her bed with her in the morning and they would just play and laugh.  They had a very special bond.  I could write a whole blog post about their special relationship.  They loved each other deeply.  Cooper, especially adored his sister.  He always wanted her around, he always wanted her to follow him, even though she was so independent and did her own thing.  They played really well together for the most part.  But when Callie had enough, she would let him know.  One time, they were both playing in Cooper's room and Cooper was tackling her (in his normal gentle way) as they were playing and she just had enough.  She went into her room and closed the door.  A couple minutes later I opened the door slightly to check on her and she was just sitting on the floor reading her books.  She just needed her space and her alone time :)

One of my big prayers for them that I prayed constantly was that they would be very close and best friends their entire lives.  It breaks my heart for Cooper that his best friend is no longer here.  It hurts to think that I will never see how close their relationship would be, how they would play together, fight together, and love on each other.  Cooper was VERY protective of his sister.  He looked out for her in public settings especially.  Just a few days before she died, a girl kept taking her cheerio cup away from Callie and put it in a place she couldn't reach.  Cooper would go get the cup and give it back to Callie.  After it continued to happen, Cooper got very upset and told her very sternly it was Callie's.  Another time, we were all at chicfila, and as we were about to leave, I went to throw some trash away before getting Callie and Cooper exclaimed "Mommy, CALLIE, CALLIE!!!"  Poor guy thought I would forget her.  I told him I would never forget his sister.   They would also hold hands often in the car.  He loved her, and he knew at a very young age his responsibility to be a big brother and what a privilege it was.

As Callie grew older, she became more feisty, fearless, independent and very opinionated. She knew exactly what she wanted and she had no problems letting you know.  She loved to shake her head no when she didn't want something, and she would clap when I would guess the right thing that she did want. We read to her before every nap and nighttime and she was very opinionated about what book she wanted to read.  I would pick out 2 or 3 (or 5 or 6...lol) books and she would push it away and shake her head no until I chose the one she wanted, and she then would sit quietly, listening to every word and help turn the pages.  She knew exactly what she wanted.  She also thought she was a big kid and wanted to keep up with her big brother.  She had no fear. She got very upset if she wasn't allowed to do some of the things he could do.  Our good friends went to the cemetery the day after the funeral with their kids who knew Callie.  They sang songs, drew pictures, and shared their favorite memory of Callie.  Their 4 year old son shared that he remembered Callie always wanting to play like a big girl at McDonalds.  I had to laugh because it's so true.  Callie did not want to miss out on all the fun the big kids were having.  I would find her halfway up climbing UP the tunnel slide and would have to crawl up the slide to get her out.  She definitely did not like me ruining her fun.

 The girl loved to eat and would pretty much eat anything we gave her.  Even from an early age, she never turned down food.  She was always heading to the fridge wanting a snack.  Before we ate a meal together she would fold her hands and say "pray, pray, pray" until we started praying.  She ate healthy and would eat well, but when she was done, she was DONE.  I was still working with her on not throwing food on the floor! Cooper never really did that, but this girl, she wanted to make a statement when she finished eating.  She also threw her water cup or milk sippy cup on the floor when she finished it.  Not just a little push on the floor...oh no, she would crank it back and literally throw it.  It was not funny at the time, but now we can look back and laugh...especially my parents who claim I did the exact same thing.

Callie was also very smart. She started saying words early on and knew a ton of words.  She "talked" and babbled a lot and understood everything we said.  She was observant, could read people, and always had the best facial expressions.  She can't hide her emotions and so many people told me that you knew exactly what Callie was thinking by her facial expressions.  She was shy at first, but would warm up pretty easily to new people and environments.  She was very adventurous and had no fear.  She would explore everywhere and wanted to go anywhere she wasn't "supposed" to go to.  I always said, when Callie is surrounded by 4 walls she is SO easy.  But get her in an open area with any type of exit and we would be chasing her around everywhere.  She wanted to explore the world.  She didn't care to stay close to mom or dad, but was so independent.  I had to watch her like a hawk especially compared to Cooper who will stay close by me.  Her first time at the beach, she wanted to go straight into the water and would if we would have let her.  She loved the water.  She found such joy playing in our water table outside, the baby pool, splash pads, water fountains...anything with water, she was there.  I changed her clothes often during the summer days since the kids wanted to go outside constantly to play in the water table and get soaking wet.

Callie was a very happy, joyful girl.  She had a zest for life and was friendly and sweet towards others. She made us smile everyday.  She laughed a lot and we called it her "hearty" laugh.  It was this deep, super cute laugh.  She would "dance" which would be her infamous twirl and would spin around in circles.  It was the cutest thing.  She also loved running up and down our long hallway from the front door to the back of the house.  I would comment "here comes Callie" and she would just run up and down "singing" in her little cute voice that moved up and down as she ran.  Cooper would sometimes join in with her as she would run.  She loved peppa pig like her big brother and it was the only show she would watch.  She would say "peppa, peppa" over and over again.  She also had a love for jungle book, which we still don't understand where it came from since she never watches movies.  The only thing I can think of is that it was Cooper's most favorite movie when I was pregnant with Callie and I wonder if she recognizes the sounds from the movie from the womb.  Whenever she was sick and needed a distraction, we would put on jungle book and it would calm her right down.  That movie will always hold a special place in our hearts.

Callie loved the outdoors and being outside like her brother.  She loved going for walks in the double stroller or the wagon and going to see the ducks.  She would always exclaim "duck, duck!!" when she would see the ducks.  She would go bring her shoes to me when she wanted to go outside to play.  There were times when she thought we were going in the garage to go for a walk, but we were actually getting in the car to go somewhere...well, she did NOT like that.  She wanted to get in her wagon or stroller, not get in the car.  I would have to tell Cooper to come in the car on her side so Callie would see that he is coming in the car with us.  She also loved the park and loved swinging.  We have a baby swing for her in our backyard and in the evenings I would push her in the swing while she watched her daddy and brother play baseball and football together.  She was so content just swinging and watching them.  She didn't want to get out when it was time to go in and take a bath.  She also loved her baths.  The kids would take a bath together every night and have a blast together splashing and playing with all the toys.

Callie loved her family.  She didn't really have a favorite person, as she loved each of us in her own way.  She did of course have a very special bond with her Daddy.  Everyday he would come home from work, I would announce "daddy's home!!" and Callie would squeal and laugh and run into his arms.  She wasn't as affectionate with us as Cooper is, but when she gave you hugs and kisses, it was special.  Justin texted me the day that she passed away before putting her down for a nap and said that she leaned in and gave him a kiss, which melted his heart.  She was a master of blowing kisses though.  Whenever we said goodnight to Callie she would blow kisses over and over again to everyone.  If we told her to tell someone bye bye, she would just blow them kisses instead.

Dancing with daddy

She loved wearing hats

I am so blessed to have known Callie for the 9 months I carried her, and the 18 months on this earth.  She is a special little girl, full of life and brought joy to everyone around her.   She is deeply loved and we miss her terribly.  I miss her laugh, her smile and hearing her call me "mama" over and over again.   Even on the day she passed away, she had such a fun day, smiling, laughing and spending time with her family.  We are grieving but we grieve with HOPE. We know we will see her again and she is with Jesus.  We love you sweet girl... a day does not go by that we won't think of you.  You are the most beautiful, loving, and sweetest little girl and it is a joy to call you daughter.  We will see you soon...

A New Chapter

As most of you have heard by now, our beautiful girl, Callie Grace passed away suddenly on July 4th. It has been 10 days now since we lost her, and it has been by far the hardest and longest 10 days of my life.  It is only by the Grace of God that I am able to wake up every morning and put one foot in front of the other.  The pain of losing her is so deep and some days feel so dark that it can be hard to breathe.  But God is Faithful, His grace is sufficient.  The verse that I am clinging to at this time is Lamentations 3:19-25

"Remember my affliction and my wanderings, the wormwood and the gall!  My soul continually remembers it and it bowed down within me.  But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope; The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "therefore I will hope in him." The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him."

Great is Thy Faithfulness is the song we sang to Callie every night and it was also one of the songs we sang at her funeral.  My heart is broken, but I know that God is good and He is faithful.  I know He has a greater purpose and I have absolutely no idea what He is doing.  I often wonder, Lord, why me?  Why us?  Why Cooper?  And I will never know why, but I trust and know there is purpose.  This is NOT meaningless.  God is using Callie's short life for a greater good I will not know this side of heaven. Joy is coming, God always keeps his promises, and we have hope.  The Lord will not forsake me, and He will give me a lifetime of grace.  This is not a trial that will go away in a few months, or a few years, this is a trial I will endure throughout my lifetime.  But His Grace is so great and I know He will give me the grace I need every minute, every hour, everyday, for the rest of my life.

I do not say all this to get a pat on the back, and for everyone to think how wonderful I am doing.  Because I'm not doing wonderful, I hurt deeply and I have been in dark places.  I even found myself just this morning dwelling in self pity listening to myself instead of preaching truth to myself.  So I needed to write.  I needed to continue to preach truth and scripture and listening to the truth of God's Word.

I try hard not to live in regret, but there are a lot of things I think about that I regret.  I regret not kissing her one last time.    I regret not soaking in every moment I had with her the weeks before she passed.  I also regret that I stopping blogging about her.  I blogged throughout Cooper's life, but I stopped at Callie's at 4 months old.  Why did I do that?  I know I was busy and had a lot going on with raising 2 small kids, but I so wish I would not have stopping blogging about her.  So this is one reason why I started this blog again.  This is for me, not for everyone else to read or to get likes or page views.  This is for me to process, to honor Callie, and maybe one day the Lord will use it to minister to someone who may go through this horrible tragedy.

Thank you for being on this journey with us, thank you for your constant prayers and love.  We grieve with Hope, knowing we will see her again.  While everyone's life is getting back to normal, we are trying to find our new normal here as a family of 3.  My next blog post will be all about Callie, about the amazing person the Lord created and how she was a true joy and delight to our family.  It is a true honor to be her Mom.

Happy 3rd Birthday Cooper!

I can't believe my baby boy, my first born is now 3 years old!  Didn't he just look like this??

What can I say about Cooper?  He is a very sweet and compassionate kid.  He is extremely observant and has been that way since he was a newborn.  He will sit back and observe for awhile before he joins in sometimes.  He is very shy at first and needs about 5 minutes (sometimes longer) in any new situation that he is placed in before he starts to feel comfortable.  If you play with him on the floor for a few minutes, you have already won him over.  He is the type of kid that will have 3 very close friends that he will be loyal to than 20 acquaintances.  He has such a sweet and tender heart!  He can recognize when anyone is sad and will just stare at them with a very concerned look or try to comfort them if it's someone he knows well.  If someone gets hurts, he gets very concerned and will even talk about it days and days later.  He is also my snuggle bug!  He is incredibly affectionate and loves to hug, kiss and cuddle all the time.  He is a typical first born rule follower and is well behaved at school and with other people (though not always with me) :)  

Though he can be shy and quiet sometimes, he is also hilarious and so much fun at home and when he is comfortable.  Sometimes it makes me sad that other people don't get to see his true personality come out, but I so love how God created him.  He is ALL BOY and loves to be outside, running all around the house, climbing and jumping off things, playing guitar, and ALL sports.  He knows the Aggies and will say "Go Aggies, or Woohoo touchdown Aggies" anytime there is a football game on.  He also gets to watch some baseball with daddy on some evenings since Daddy loves watching the Astros.  He has an amazing arm and can throw any ball very hard.  He has also mastered hitting the ball off the tee.  His new favorite activity is playing football with Daddy in the backyard.  He will get the ball like he is about the hike it, all while shouting out some numbers and phases (that he learned from daddy), and then he takes off running with the ball trying to get away before Justin tackles him.  Though secretly he is dying to be tackled and giggles and giggles the whole time.  It's pretty much the cutest thing ever.  

He is also the SWEETEST big brother ever.  I don't know how he understands that he is her big brother and that he is supposed to look after her but he clearly takes this seriously (most of the time…haha).  He gets concerned if she rolls over, spits up, or does anything that could maybe bother her.  The other day we were at chicfila and as we were about to leave, I got up to throw away some trash while Callie was still in the high chair.  Cooper freaked out that I was going to leave Callie.  Sweet boy, I won't forget your sister, but thank you for looking out for her.  He also gives her sweet hugs and kisses all day, every day.  He LOVES playing with her and they are so cute in the bath tub together.  Of course, Cooper is still 3 years old and can still be a little rough sometimes.  He loves "playing" with her on the floor which includes tackling her.  He is usually fairly gentle, but Callie will definitely let him know that she has had enough!  Between daddy and big brother, I'm not sure any guy will be good enough to date her :)

To Celebrate and Remember Cooper at 3 years old, here are his current favorite things:

Favorite thing he is into:  DINOSAURS!  He is obsessed with Dinosaurs right now, hence the reason he is having a dinosaur birthday theme. 

Favorite Color:  Blue

Favorite Movie:  Jungle Book and Robin Hood.  He has gone through phases of loving Toy Story, Lion King and Frozen, but Jungle Book and Robin Hood remain his favorites

Favorite TV show:  PEPPA PIG.  

Best Friends:  Hudson and Maddie

Favorite Song:  How Great Thou Art.  This is the song we sing to him every night and he loves it

Favorite Snack:  Popsicles (a.k.a. "supples") and homemade smoothies

Favorite Food:  Pizza, and Tuna (yes he eats tuna almost everyday for lunch)

Favorite Drink:  Chocolate Milk

Favorite Resturant:  Chicfila

Favorite Stuffed Animal:  The red river hog that Justin bought him at the zoo that he picked out.  His name is Tiki

Favorite Toy:  Anything Dinosaur, Trains, and his Noah's Ark animals 

Favorite Book:  Jesus Storybook Bible, Steam Train Dream Train, When Dinosaur's say Goodnight

Favorite Activity:  Bouncing Bears and the Zoo

Happy Birthday Cooper, we are so thankful for you!!

Callie is 4 months old!

Okay, the blog has been a little sad lately with only monthly updates of Callie that I'm sure are boring to most people….but it's a great place for me to write everything down and to look back on it.  I might be able to start blogging more again now that I have my evenings back  (more on that below).
So here is what is going on with this precious one at 4 months!

We went in for her 4 month check up this week and she weighs 12lbs 13oz (22nd%ile) Height:  24.75'' (66%ile), Head: 15.98'' (52%ile).  The Doctor says she is growing right on tract though I have been somewhat worried about my milk supply keeping up with her…but she is one happy baby and she sure would tell me if she was hungry.

Eating:  I'm still exclusively breastfeeding her and it is going very well.  I'm finally at the point where it is actually easy now and I understand what everyone was talking about.  I still hate nursing in public as I'm not very good at doing it modestly so that is a little stressful sometimes.  I now even nurse her on one side at a time which is a big improvement and doesn't take near as long as before.  She nurses about 5 times during the day and usually once at night.  It's so nice to finally have a routine.  We will probably start some food this month so that will be fun!

Sleeping:  Praise the Lord, Callie is sleeping like a champ!!  She has turned into a completely different baby this month in regards to sleeping.  She used to FIGHT sleep so badly!  It was so bad that it would take literally hours for her to go down to sleep for the night.  Every.Single.Evening since Callie has been born, Justin and I would take turns holding her, walking around the house, shushing (if that is a word), and rocking her to get her to sleep.  The colic was just rough in the evenings and she cried so much.  She would usually finally fall asleep in our arms, but then once we put her down, she would wake up.  So we would go through about 3 of those cycles every night until finally she just gave up and would stay asleep around 11 or 12am.  The evenings were stressful and we weren't able to do anything!  But now…Oh.My.Goodness, it truly is a miracle that she goes to sleep completely on her own!  No rocking, no walking around…I just lay her in her crib awake, and she turns on her side, sucks her thumb and falls fast to sleep.  Every now and then she will cry for about 5 minutes, but that is nothing compared to where we were.  It's also a miracle that she is in her own crib and her room and doesn't need to be swaddled.  She never slept well unless she was in her rock and play and swaddled.  I was even doing research about how to wean your baby off swaddling.  This all pretty much happened on her own one evening and she hasn't turned back.  The other night, I put Callie down at 8, and Justin and I were able to watch a movie and relax the entire evening.  I kept saying "do you remember how awful our evenings used to be? I can't believe we can just relax and watch a movie together!"  It has made a world of difference to us, we can actually spend time together again and I can blog or do other stuff I need to get done…woohoo!

After I put her to bed at 8pm, she will usually wake up once at night to eat, around 4-5am but then go back to sleep.  She then sleeps until 8am, and sometimes later if she didn't nap well the day before.  I have her on a 2 hour schedule so she is awake for 2 hours and then naps for 2 hours (if I'm lucky). So if she wakes up at 8am, she will nap at 10am, 2pm and then a cat nap at 5:30pm.  Sometimes she will only nap 45 minutes and sometimes 2 hours depending on the day.  We are rarely home all day so then her naps end up being in the car or the stroller.

Milestones: Callie is a pro at rolling over. She can roll over from back to stomach and stomach to back but most of the time she rolls over on her stomach and just stays there.  She also started sucking her thumb this month, but mainly when she is sleepy and going to bed.  It's awesome that she can soothe her self to sleep.  She also moved into her own room and crib, and goes to sleep on her own.  She has just started to really interact with Cooper and notice him.  Cooper is always giving her hugs and kisses and now Callie will try to touch him and grab him, which Cooper isn't too thrilled about.

Trying to play with her stuffed lamb

Likes:  She pretty much likes everything right now.  Baths, going for walks, being outside, being around people, her daddy and brother.  I think she will be a people person because she seems to always do well around other people and out and about.  Good thing she is my 2nd child since we are out and about a lot more than if she was my 1st.

Looking back at Cooper's monthly updates, 4 months was also a very easy and fun age for him. I know once she is mobile, things will get more interesting, so I'm going to enjoy and soak in this sweet age.

Sweet girl sucking her thumb

Couldn't believe she fell asleep in the mamaroo!

We love you Callie Grace!  You are such a joy to us!

Callie is 3 Months Old!

We made it!  Callie is now 3 months old!

My baby girl is no longer a newborn anymore and has graduated to a baby!  Yippee!  The newborn stage was very rough for both of my kids and I have always said things gets SO much better at 3 months, and it has been so true for Callie.

The first 2 and a half months for us were very hard.  Going from 1 kid to 2 was hard enough, but on top of having a colicky/reflux baby made it much harder.  We tried everything to help Callie, but I think it was just something she had to grow out of.  I read that colic babies peak at 2 months and then gets much better by 3 months and that was exactly what happened.  The past 2 weeks, she has turned into a completely different baby.  She is content and happy and cries for normal reasons!  It has made a WORLD of difference for everyone that she is so much better.

She still has bad relux and she will swallow it which makes her choke and cough a lot.  It sounds pretty scary sometimes especially when she is in the car where I can't get to her.  Cooper would always spit it out so there was spit up everywhere.  Callie will still spit up, but not near as much as Cooper did since she swallows it.  She is on stronger relux medicine that she is able to get down easily so that has helped a lot.  I am ready for her reflux to get better!  Poor baby girl!

Eating:  Breastfeeding is going so much better and she is getting a lot faster lately.  She eats about every 3-4 hours now.  I used to have to nurse her just to calm her down when she was inconsolable, but I haven't had to do that for awhile.  She still will not take a bottle and I think I've given up on trying anymore.  I don't pump anymore since it's hard to find the time to do it, and every time I did it, she wouldn't take it so it would go to waste.  I am glad that I am able to exclusively breastfeed her though so I can't complain.

Sleeping:   A couple of weeks ago Callie went from waking up once at  night to waking up 2-3 times at night to eat.  I'm guessing it was a growth spurt and then this past week she actually slept 12 hour straight for the first time!  It was glorious!  She also caught her first cold from big brother and has turned into a cough and her voice is hoarse which is so sad to hear.  I think she might be tough like her brother because she hasn't been more fussy with the cold or sleeping bad.  She has fallen into somewhat of a schedule taking 3 naps a day, sometimes 4 if the naps are short or in the car/stroller.  She wakes up at different times in the morning, sometime 8am and sometimes if I feed her around 5 or 6 she will go back to sleep and sleep until 10am.  I still swaddle her and she sleeps in our room at night, and in her crib for naps.  After she gets past this cold,  I'm ready for her to move into her room at night.  Evenings can still be hard, especially putting her to bed for the night.  She can go down for naps fairly easily, but putting her to bed at night, she fights it so hard.  I really have no idea why she does this, but I'm sure she will get better at it.

Milestones: She has smiled real big this month which is so nice for this tired mama!  She also coos and "talks"  and it's so sweet.  She doesn't like tummy time and isn't close to rolling over like her big brother did at just 10 weeks.  Of course her biggest milestone is she is a content and happy baby now for the most part.  She is getting more and more fun each day!

Likes: Her favorite thing right now is her playmat.  She can lay on her back for a long time just batting at all the toys.  She also loves her baths and could stay in there forever it seems.  She is getting better at being in the car.  There were times that she would cry the entire time in car for 30 minutes straight which was hard.  She also likes being outside and going for walks in the stroller.  She of course loves her big brother and the feeling is definitely mutual.

Cooper wanted to get in on the picture taking of course!  He is the sweetest big brother, giving her kisses constantly and asking where she is all the time.  If she is on her play mat, Cooper will lay right next to her and put his arm around her.  I am so thankful for these 2! What a gift :)

Callie is 2 Months Old!

Can't believe my baby girl is 2 months old!

I actually started a one month post last month but of course I never finished it since my life is preeeetty crazy right now with a newborn and toddler.  It has been a rough 2 months since poor Callie has been in some sort of pain most of her life.  She definitely has good days and bad days and I would say the good days are really good (for her) and the bad days can be really bad.  She does have reflux and is on medicine but sometimes I think the medicine doesn't help at all and she has better days without it.  It's hard to know exactly what is going on with her and why she is so fussy some days.  We have her 2 month doctor appointment on Thursday so hopefully we can figure out what else may be going on.  Everything I have read about colic describes her and I have read that most babies peak at 2 months and then slowly grow out of it by 3-4 months, so I'm really hoping that is the case for her.

Breastfeeding is going really well right now, much better than it went for Cooper.  It's almost going too well, since she is having a really hard time taking a bottle, which is another frustration.  She took a bottle like a pro her first month, but the past few weeks she is refusing it.  We will keep trying and hopefully she will get used to it again.  I'm nursing her every 2-3 hours during the day and sometimes she will go 4 hours.  She seems to be gaining weight and is growing out of her newborn clothes.  I can't wait to see how much she weighs.  I think she is bigger than Cooper at 2 months. Love those cheeks!

She is sleeping really well right now.  The first month is always hard and there were many sleepless nights, but I have made sure she only goes 2-3 hours between feedings during the day, even if that means waking her up (gasp!) and she has fallen in a great routine at night and is only waking up about once to eat and goes right back to sleep.  She has slept a good 8-9 hours straight a few times which has been glorious!  If she wakes up around 6 or 6:30 for a feeding, I will put her back to sleep and most of the time she will sleep until 9 which has been great!  Cooper sleeps until 8 or 8:30 so I can have mornings to myself or sleep in if I want.  I can also get Cooper up and dressed and feed him all before Callie wakes up which is very nice.  I'm just so thankful she is sleeping well at night and can go right back to sleep after I feed her because being sleep deprived with a fussy newborn and toddler was really hard that first month.

The evenings are definitely the hardest with her, which is normal for colicy babies.  Her last feeding is usually between 9-10pm and some nights she can go to sleep really easily and other nights it can literally takes hours to get her to go to sleep.  It's hard to understand since she can go down for naps just fine during the day but putting her down for bed at night can be brutal.  There have been many times when Justin or I will put her down and 5 minutes later she will wake up crying.  I know this too will get better in time.

She takes a lot of naps during the day ranging from anywhere to just 30 minutes to 2 hours or longer.  That is the hard part is not knowing if it will be a 30 minutes nap or a 2 hour nap.  I'm hoping she will be ready to go 4 hours between feedings at 3 months old so she can be on a better schedule.  She sleeps in the rock n play by my bed at night and I put her down for naps in her crib during the day so she can transition easily to the crib soon.

Right now Callie loves her baths and it really calms her down.  She also likes going on walks and will fall asleep in the stroller.  The car is hit or miss for her.  Sometimes she will just cry the entire time in the car and other times she will fall asleep.  Cooper has been such a champ and doesn't seem bothered at all by all the crying especially in the car.  She doesn't like the swing or mamaroo at all which is just like her brother!  She does like the bouncer and that has been a lifesaver for me.  She also likes her little play gym and will look around and lay on that for awhile.  Tummy time is hit or miss but big brother LOVES laying down next to her when she is on her back or tummy.  She will grab the rings and toys that are reachable on the play mat and will track you with her eyes.  She still hasn't given me a huge smile yet, so I'm hoping she will soon.  Cooper starting smiling at 6 weeks so I'm trying hard not to compare them but it's hard.

Though she hasn't given a huge smile yet, she can wink..which is pretty talented for a 2 month old :-)

Though she can be fussy and it has been hard, we just adore her and think she is SO cute :)  I love watching her grow everyday and see how much she changes.  She gets cuter and cuter everyday it seems.  Oh, and you have to check out her hair.  She has a little mullet going on…all business in the front and party in the back…

Little old man hair!  Might be time for a little ponytail already in the back!  We love our Callie Grace and are so thankful for her!

Callie's Birth Story

I can't believe Callie is already over 2 weeks old!  I wanted to write down her birth story before I forget everything.  I love looking back at Cooper's birth story to remember that exciting day.  Callie's birth story definitely was an adventure to say the least.

To start off, I went to my 39 week doctor appt on Tues, Dec 16th.  Cooper was at Mother's Day Out and Justin was off work and finished with grad school so he came with me.  At 38 weeks, I was barely dilated and I was hoping so badly that there was some improvement.  I was starting to have some small contractions, which I never had with Cooper so that was encouraging.  Thankfully, I was dilated and effaced more and she had also dropped down low.  So, my doctor said that I could get induced the next day (wed, the 17th) if there was an opening at the hospital, which she wasn't too hopeful since it was the end of the year.  Justin and I decided to talk it over and pray about it and then let her know that afternoon.  So we went out to lunch and talked it over and decided to go ahead and get induced if the hospital did have an opening.  If not, then we would just wait for her to come on her own.  Since I had to be induced with Cooper past his due date because he was in distress and had the cord wrapped around his neck twice, we would rather have her come if my body was ready than wait past my due date again.    Since this was my 2nd pregnancy and Cooper's induction went very smoothly and fast, I wasn't worried about being induced again, especially after having some contractions.

So we went home that afternoon and busily got everything ready and packed to go to the hospital the next day just in case there was an opening.  It was a crazy day, packing and getting all Cooper's stuff ready since he would be staying with my parents while we were at the hospital.  We finally went to sleep that night and I kept waking up to contractions.  I was starting to get very excited.  They weren't super strong but they continued to wake me up throughout the night.  Finally it was 5am and time to call the hospital  to check the status, and I was expecting them to say that the hospital was full.  They then told me that they had me on hold and would call me back within 2 hours to let me know when and if to come in.  I was still thinking that I would probably be going into labor sometime that day anyway, but it would be so nice to go ahead and get in.  About an hour later, they called and said to come!  I really couldn't believe it!  We hopped out of bed, I called my parents to come over, and we got the car packed and ready.   I was so excited to meet our precious girl soon!

6:45am
My parents arrived at our house and Cooper is already awake!  He must have woken up to us loading up the car or something because he usually sleeps until 8am.  We got to say goodbye to our only child and we were on our way to the hospital!

7:15am
Arrive at the hospital and get checked into our room, fill out some paper work etc…

8:30am
Starting to get regular contractions

9:30am
Start potocin

10:00am
Water Broke

Over the next couple of hours, things are really slow.  I was having regular contractions, but they weren't strong enough to get the epidural yet.  I start to get a little worried as it was going slower than I expected.  

12:30pm
Contractions are getting stronger and they check me and I'm only 3cm!  I couldn't believe it.  I got to 7cm with Cooper before getting an epidural, and I was trying to wait as long as possible for the epidural since 3cm just made me feel like a wuss.  BAD IDEA!  Any pregnant women who like epidurals, DON'T DO THAT! Suck up your pride and get the epidural when the pain is very bad, because…well, you will see….

Somewhere between 12:30 and 3:46 (when Callie was born) is a complete blur and I stopped documenting things like I had before since I was in so much pain.  So these times are just estimates…

Around 1pm
Somewhere around this point, the pain was unbearable and I didn't care if I was only 4cm, I wanted the epidural.  So I ask for it and the nurse says he will be here in 10 minutes…famous last words.  She gets me all set up for the epidural and I'm sitting up on the edge of the bed, booty hanging out, trying to breath through insanely painful contractions.  And we wait, and wait, and wait.  I finally ask when he is coming.  The nurse calls and basically there was a miscommunication because it will be another 45 minutes or so.  Well, that would have been nice to know earlier.  I get to lay back down on the bed and just wait for him to come as the contractions get stronger and stronger. 

Around 3:00ish (really no idea)
As I wait for the epidural, I am going through some crazy, no break, out of this world painful contractions.  I was not prepared for this, since I was planning to have an epidural, and my contractions were not near this strong before my epidural with Cooper.  My nurse was getting concerned thinking that Callie might be coming by the way the contractions were coming.  I then have a small panic attack telling her that I am not prepared to have a natural childbirth and did not want one.  She basically told me that I may have to do this natural and that I can do it.  Fun times…

No idea what time:
The anesthesiologist is here!  The anesthesiologist is here!  I am having excruciatingly painful contractions and he is asking me all these questions….I cannot talk!  Why, oh why, are you asking me all these questions when it is impossible to even speak at this point.  Basically the nurse was answering all the questions for me.  He finally gives me the epidural of course right when I was having a contraction..could he not wait until it was over?!  I may or may not have let him know I was not happy at this point.  Was he not used to women having this severe of contractions before?  I guess not.  So then I wait for the epidural to kick in…and wait….and wait.  I finally feel some relief only on the right side of my body.  I still felt EVERYTHING on my left side.  The nurse had me lay on my side so the epidural would fall to my left side but nothing worked.  She couldn't even check me because of the pain I was in and laying on my side.  I ask for the anesthesiologist again since it's just not working and I could not relax.  At this point I am also extremely nauseous and am holding a vomit bag the whole time.  I then feel this crazy pressure on my bottom and was incredibly uncomfortable.  The pain just seemed unbearable at this point.

3:35ish
A different anesthesiologist comes in and gives me another dose and it finally kicks in!  The nurse is able to check me and after she checks me, she has this look on her face and immediately goes to the phone.  I then say "how many CM am I?"  And she says very stone faced "oh, you're a 10".  WHAT??  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  No wonder I was in so much darn pain!  The epidural literally kicked in minutes before I was 10cm or I was probably actually already at 10cm when it kicked in. And all that pressure on my bottom…oh that was the baby!  Why didn't I think of that?  I just didn't think I could go from 4cm to 10 cm that quickly.  We were all in such shock.  Though I did feel a little justified for being in so much pain.

The downfall is because of the strong epidural, my blood pressure dropped to 67 which freaked Justin out and they had to give me medication.  Everything was happening so fast as the nurse was rushing and trying to get the doctor in ASAP…

3:40ish (minutes before Callie is born)
In all the craziness somehow Justin and I were left in the room by ourselves as our nurse was trying to get everyone in our room.  I all of a sudden feel Callie coming and a need to push!  I tell Justin to call the nurse because she is coming!!  I did not feel this at all with Cooper since my epidural had been working for a long time before I pushed.  We both start to freak out a little waiting for the doctor and nurse to get back in here.  I'm sure it was just a few minutes but it felt like eternity.  I tell Justin to please call the nurse again and that the baby is coming!  Finally all of a sudden 20 people come rushing in my room.  It was probably only 5 people, but it felt like 20.   The doctor is here and tells me to push immediately.  No small talk here, just push.  I push maybe 4 times and out she comes!!!

It was such a surreal and amazing feeling.  I cried and cried when I saw her…she was beautiful!  You'd think that your first childbirth experience is simply magical and exciting and emotional and that you wouldn't feel that again.  Well, you definitely do!  I had the same emotions and amazed feeling I had when I first saw Cooper.  I was in love and just couldn't believe she was my daughter!

And it's just like all those natural childbirth people tell you….once your little one is here, you completely forget about the pain and misery you were just in.  They immediately put her on my chest and she stays with me for a full hour before they weigh her or clean her or anything.  It was very special to have that time with her and I was able to breastfeed her right away.  After about an hour of having skin to skin with her and nursing, they weighed her and gave her her first bath.   She weight 7 pounds 13 oz which was less than everyone thought she would weigh.  She had the sweetest cubby cheeks and everyone thought she would weigh 8 pounds, including me!  She weighed a little more than Cooper but I think most of the weight was in her cheeks :)

After her bath, they swaddled her up and my family was able to come in and meet her with Cooper.  I wish I could say there was this special moment of Cooper meeting his sister for the first time, but he pretty much didn't want anything to do with her.  I think he knew what was going on and it was just a strange atmosphere with us being in the hospital etc.

First time to see his sister…he held on to daddy for dear life :)

I bought Cooper a train and a book to give to him at the hospital from Callie, but he wasn't too interested in that. As  you can see he is still overwhelmed by the entire situation...

First family pic…the best we could do

Thankfully Cooper has adjusted better than expected and he is such a good big brother to Callie now.  He loves to give her kisses and pats her head very soft every time she cries.  

Granna and Callie

We spent 2 nights in the hospital, though my doctor would have allowed us to leave after one night, Callie wasn't nursing well so we decided to stay one more night.  Thankfully she caught on quickly and started nursing much better by the 2nd day so we were definitely ready to get home the next morning.  

"Mom, I can't believe you put that ridiculous bow on my head"  -teenager Callie
"but you are sooooo cute" -me

We are so blessed and thankful for our precious Callie Grace!  Even though the birth was a bit traumatic, it was still such a sweet and special day and I'm thankful to have a place to write it out to remember it by.