Cooper Pictures

Last week I had my 2nd anatomy ultrasound at 24 weeks.  It was so nice to see sweet Cooper again!  I had to go back and repeat my 20 week ultrasound because Cooper was not in the right position to get a good look at everything.  This time he was very cooperative!  She checked all his major organs again and was able to look at his face and heart  which she couldn't see last time, and everything looked great...Praise the Lord!  She also confirmed that he is a boy :)  He was moving around a lot during the ultrasound and the technician could feel his kicks.  It was probably the strongest kicks I had felt at that point.  She kept commenting on how cute he is, which I'm sure she says to everyone, but he is just so cute!  Of course Cooper had his arm by his face as usual.  He was already measuring at 25 weeks so I hope that means he could come a week early :)  He weighs a little over a pound and is a foot long.  He is long and lean at 24 weeks and his body will fill out proportionally and he will start to plump up.

Here is a picture of Cooper's face.  We think he has Justin's nose and my chin, but it's too early to tell since his face will fill out a lot more.  

His arm is at the top by his face

These pictures were taken at 24 weeks, but I am now 25 weeks and still feeling great.  My only complaint is that my feet hurt badly if I'm on them throughout the day, which I usually am.   I have never experienced my feet hurting like this so it's taken me by surprise.  It's also starting to get really hot and last week was miserable for me.  I don't sit in an air conditioning office all day and I'm out and about with kids so it's been really hot.  Justin is even noticing that I'm getting more hot than him lately and he is extremely warm natured!

In just one week I'm only 3 months away!  That is so hard to believe since I feel like I have a lot to do.  I finally went and registered with my best friend Karrie this week.  I'm so thankful she went with me or I would have been completely lost.  Here is a picture of what his bedding looks like that I ordered online.

My brother is giving us my nephew's crib and my parents bought us a dresser.  We are so thankful and feel truly blessed.  We still have a bunch of big purchases left and a lot to do with the nursery but I know it will come together one way or another.  Decorating is not one of my specialities so if anyone loves to decorate and wants to help me out, I'll be all for it!

Remembering Baby Noah

Today is another special day in the Cummings' family.  Today would have been our 2nd baby's due date.  It's hard to believe that I would be holding a baby in my arms around this time.  I think about what this week would have looked like if we hadn't lost this baby.  It was back in October, just a week after our 1 year anniversary that we found out we were pregnant again after losing our 1st due to miscarriage in July.  We were so thankful and though we were cautious, we never thought we would be going through yet another miscarriage.   I looked at what my due date was a thought, "a June baby...how fun!!"  I was so excited and thought it was great timing.  We found out we were pregnant on a Friday so I had to wait until Monday to go into the Doctor to get my blood work done, to see what my HCG levels were and to determine how the baby was doing.  I received a phone call the next day that wrecked me.  The nurse told me that my progesterone was low and so were my HCG levels.  She was putting me on progesterone and I needed to go back to see if my HCG levels double.  I knew it didn't sound good, though she kept saying "we just need the levels to double."  I flat out asked her to be honest with what she thinks this means and she did admit to me me "it could mean you may miscarry this baby".  I got off the phone and I don't remember crying so hard in my life.  I was actually at work, just sobbing in my office not sure what to do.  I went home and just cried and cried.  My mind was running just thinking what I would do if I had another miscarriage.  It was a rough night.  I e-mailed all my close friends to ask them to pray that this would be a miracle baby and that my levels would double.  We prayed and prayed.  2 weeks later, at 6 weeks pregnant, we lost our sweet baby.  It was a very difficult 2 weeks, going in to get my blood drawn every other day just wondering, hoping, and praying for a different outcome.

We obviously have no idea what the gender is to either of our babies, but I like to think of one of them as a girl and one as a boy.  It helps me remember them as what they are, real babies, and not just a fetus, or an it.  I heard the medical people tell me many times "it just didn't stick".  It was very frustrating for me.  It took us awhile to choose a name for this baby because I didn't want to have to think about it at times.  I pushed aside my emotions more with this miscarriage then I did the first one.  I was back to work quickly, and I just swept it under the rug more than I should have.  I noticed that other people also didn't talk about it with me than with the first miscarriage.  It could be partly because more people knew about the 1st one and I was farther along,  and partly they just had no idea what to say.  I am a verbal processor (hence the reason for the blog) and it has always helped me to talk through things.  I felt very alone and went through an extremely hard season in my life following this miscarriage.  The Lord has definitely been my rock and I have learned and have grown through it all.  All Glory to Him.

We decided to name this baby Noah.  When I think of Noah in the Bible, I think of a man with great Faith, which is our first baby's name.  Hebrews 11:1 says, "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."  Through these miscarriages and over the past year the Lord has reminded me over and over to have faith and to trust Him.  It's so simple, yet I found it difficult to do at times.  He never promised me that I would be 24 weeks pregnant with a baby boy on the day of Noah's due date, but I knew His plan was perfect.  I knew He is a sovereign, good God who I could put my trust in.   

To our sweet baby Noah-we miss you and are so thankful for your life.  I so wished I could have held you, kissed your sweet cheeks,  and seen what you looked like.  We look forward to the day when we will be reunited with you in heaven...what another blessing we have waiting for us!!  Your mommy and daddy love you dearly!  

Happy Father's Day Justin

When a woman is pregnant, it seems that she is the one who gets all the attention.  Granted, she is the one carrying the child and going through the joys and pains of pregnancy, but the Father is normally not noticed as much.  This is why I wanted to take a little time to recognize my husband on Father's Day.  It's true that he has not yet experienced the sleepless nights of waking up with a newborn, the pain of disciplining a 3 year old, all the difficult decisions that goes along with being the head of the household with children, or raising a teenager.  He hasn't scratched the surface yet of Fatherhood.  But He is most definitely a Father and he has shown over the past year to me what an incredible Father he is and will be.  For example:

• When I first found out I was pregnant with our first baby, it was a complete surprise.  Ironically, we had literally just made a huge decision that week of where we thought the Lord was leading us over the next year.  Justin was in particular very excited about this opportunity. When I found out I was pregnant, I knew the next year we had planned out would all change.  And I knew my husband would be heartbroken and I wasn't sure of his reaction.  I told him in a fun way and he had the BEST reaction I could ever imagine.  Not even for a split second was he disappointed or thought about what HE wanted.  I am thankful for a husband who sees children as what God's Word says and that they are a blessing.  I'm thankful for a husband who believes passionately in the sovereignty of God and knows HE is the creator of life and this was a part of his loving and perfect plan for us.  What a great Father!
• When we found out at 10 weeks that our baby had no heartbeat, he held me and cried with me
• When we lost our 2nd baby, he pointed me to scripture and always seemed to know what to say to me though he was grieving as well
• He never once made me feel like I was taking the miscarriages too hard or that I just need to move on
• He allowed me to vent, cry, and just be sad on hard days when I didn't feel I could do that around anyone else
• He was never anxious or worried when we were going to see a specialist to figure out what is going on
• He supported me and was compassionate towards me while I was going through procedures, testings, get pricked and probed too many times to count
• He was more than ready to start trying again when the Doctor gave us the go ahead
• He pointed me to scripture and encouraged me when I had days I was terrified I was going to lose another baby
• He kept track of my shots and gave me one every single night and was so gentle
• He reminds me daily to take the extra folic acid and vitamins I'm required to take
• He continually prays for baby Cooper
• He has been so patient and loving towards me though I have been extra emotional lately
• He loves, loves, loves his wife as God commands husbands in scripture--there has not been a day that has gone by since we first started dating that I have questioned his love for me.  And that is one of the biggest ways he is a great Father-to show Cooper how much he loves his Mommy

Though I know we have a LOOONG ways to go in regards to parenthood and have no idea what lies ahead, I couldn't ask for a better life partner to share this with.  Happy Father's Day Justin!  I have full confidence that you are going to be an amazing Father and Cooper is incredibly blessed to call you Daddy.  

Pregnancy Update

I wish I could think of a better title for this blog post, but my mind doesn't seem to working at full strength these days so this is the best I can do!  I am 23 weeks pregnant now and here are some random updates on what is going on:

• I finally felt baby Cooper move!  I first realized I was feeling him move at 21 weeks.  Yes, I know that is later than most but since my placenta is on top and Cooper doesn't move around a lot, it came a little later for me.  I was so relieved!  I think I felt him move before but didn't know what it was.  Just like everyone said, it felt like butterflies or waves through your stomach.  It definitely can be mistaken for gas!  I feel him move regularly now but it's not very often.  I had a friend whose baby didn't move a lot in her womb either and she ended up being the easiest baby!  Here's to hoping that this could mean Cooper is an easy baby too :)
• I went to children's camp last week 5 and a half months pregnant and all!  Some people thought I was crazy for going and I definitely questioned my sanity as well, but I'm so glad I went.  I had the sweetest group of girls and it was a huge blessing to be able to spend that extra time with them that I wouldn't normally be able to.  The Lord was so gracious as I felt great the entire time and had a lot of energy.  
• I have become so emotional lately!  This has taken me by surprise since I normally don't get PMS.  I feel pretty out of control with my emotions lately.  I cry over the dumbest things!  I normally don't cry when watching movies/TV, but now I'm a wreck if anything is even remotely sad or happy.  So if you see me and I'm teary eyed, please just know it's not you and it's probably nothing...I'm just extra sensitive/horomonal/emotional lately and I'm just so thankful for a patient husband!  
• "Pregnancy Brain" is in full swing!  I have heard people talk about this before but didn't really understand what it meant until now.  My main thing is that I'm forgetting things very easily.  For someone who likes to be organized and on top of things, forgetting things is not fun for me!  I have locked my keys in my office, locked myself out of my house, and left my keys at home all on days when it was very bad timing!  
• I ordered Cooper's bedding online and got it in the mail yesterday.  I was so excited!  We are going with a sports theme which fits us well since we both love sports.  I'm sure there will be some Aggie decor in there as well.  I still haven't registered or bought anything else yet as it's just too overwhelming to think about right now.  I'm thankful for all the advice I received on Facebook last week.  If any of you have more advice about the best things to register for, please share!  
• I still don't have a very cute baby bump.  It has been a little frustrating for me but I'm learning how incredibly vain it is and to be thankful that Cooper is growing and doing well.  My mom reminds me that she never had the big basketball baby bump either so it's probably just our body type along with where the baby is positioned in my uterus.  After I get dressed I typically say to Justin, "does this shirt make me look pregnant?"  My poor husband...he has been so sweet and continually will tell me how my belly looks so big and how I definitely look pregnant even when I don't ask him :)  I find myself sinfully comparing myself to other women and feel discouraged by their perfectly round bumps when I just look frumpy and huge.  I had someone with the best intentions tell me yesterday, "you don't even look pregnant!"  I know she was trying to be nice to make me feel good, but it actually made me feel worse.  I feel bad for people because no matter what they say to pregnant women, it probably is the wrong thing.  Some pregnant women HATE being told how big their bump looks or how they are showing, while others HATE to be told how small they look or how they don't look pregnant.  It's probably just best to say " you look great" ;)  
• A lot of people have been asking me this question so I thought it best to answer here:  I am stepping down from my job as children's director the end of September, which is just 2 weeks before my due date.  It will be bitter sweet as I have been there 4 years, but I also have never felt more confident in my calling to be a stay at home mom and spend this time pouring into our sweet baby boy.  It will be a sacrifice financially especially with Justin still going to school getting his master's but we both know this is what the Lord desires for our family, and it will be so worth it.  

 Phew that is a long update!  For the 4 of you who made it to the bottom, you're awesome!  I realize I mainly like to write about my pregnancy for me to look back and remember this sweet time in my life.  I feel incredibly blessed and just can't wait till baby Cooper is here...only 4 more months!

20 Weeks...halfway there!

This week I have hit a pretty big milestone....I'm 20 weeks pregnant!  I thought I would never hit 20 weeks and now that it's here, I really can't believe I'm halfway through the pregnancy.  People ask me all the time how I'm feeling and I never really know what to say.  I'm actually feeling great!  This has been an extremely easy pregnancy so far and have hardly felt much different besides the early exhaustion and nausea that wasn't even too severe.  I know, I know...all you moms out there are thinking to yourself "oh just wait"  but who knows?  We'll see what the 3rd trimester is like but I honestly can't wait!  I hear most people enjoy their 2nd trimester the best but I love looking and feeling pregnancy and I'm still not quite there yet.  I know it's coming and I'm really looking forward to the 2nd half!

Justin and I went to our 20 week big ultrasound on Tuesday where they examine the anatomy of the baby.  I was a little nervous about this appointment since I have heard many sad stories of what parents find out during this ultrasound.  I'm so thankful Justin took the day off work to go with me.  Thankfully baby Cooper's heartbeat was strong and was measuring great along with his heart, brain, and everything else they were able to see.  The only problem is sweet Cooper was just so content and happy in his mommy's womb that he wasn't moving and was not in a good position.  Actually she kept saying he was "lazy" but as his mom, I would rather say he is just content and chilled :) She couldn't get a look at his face at all and also 2 other areas she couldn't see so I will have to go back another day to complete that ultrasound.  A part of me is glad I get to have another ultrasound to see my baby again but I was also ready for this particular ultrasound to be over with.  It's still a continued daily battle to trust the Lord and I'm pretty sure it will be like that for the rest of my life as a mom.  I also found out that the placenta is at the top, which is acting as a pillow and cushioning his kick and is why I haven't felt Cooper move yet.  I was getting a little anxious to feel him move since most people have told me they felt their 1st baby move at 18-20 weeks.  She told me that since the placenta on top,  and the fact that he just doesn't move a lot, it could be awhile until I feel him.....bummer!  I was relieved in a way that that was why I haven't felt him move, but also sad that it could be awhile before I feel him.  Everyone asks me if I have felt him kick yet and I was getting discouraged when I just kept saying no.  I am more than ready to feel him move but also just thankful that he is doing so well right now.

Here are a couple of pics of our sweet boy.  She couldn't get any good profile shots since he wasn't cooperating so this was the best she could do.  You can see his hands sticking up

Here is a cute one as he was holding his hands together.  I told Justin he was already praying...that's my boy!

First week with Bella

We have official adopted a dog...meet Bella

Is this not the cutest face you've ever seen (besides babies of course).  I seriously can't get over how stinkin cute she is!  And I know exactly what you're thinking right now.  Are you crazy for getting a dog right before you have a baby?  And my answer is, yes, we are crazy!  We like to do things not the typical way in our family but we love it.  Justin has been talking about wanting to get a dog since we first got married.  We knew we wanted to wait until we had a house and of course right when we moved to a house, Justin was talking about how we need to get a dog.  I was a little more hesitant on the timing since we have a brand new home, and a baby on the way.  But my sweet husband did put up with an emotional, hormonal pregnant wife on and off over a year now so I thought it was the least I could do not to fight it.  :)  We decided we did not want to get a puppy since we really didn't want a puppy to chew up the house and wake us up all the time.   We will soon not be getting sleep and would rather not start that process earlier than we need to.   Justin started looking up different adoption agencies online to see what was available.  He has been looking for a LONG time it seems and also had to fill out a long application.  I really had no idea what can go into adopting a dog...it was quite amusing to me as they even came over for a "house visit" (I'm not kidding).   I understand more now since they did nurse Bella back to health, pay for all her shots and took care of her and doesn't want her to be left abandoned again if we have an issue with her.  Then one day Justin found Bella online and showed me her bio and picture.  I really liked her right away.  We were mainly looking for a dog that was already house trained and good with kids.  She had been in a foster home with 2 small children so that made me feel at ease.  She is also a lab mix and labs are great with kids as well.  So the day after we get back from vacation we are going to Petsmart to meet Bella to see if we want to adopt her.  We met her and just loved her right away.  Then a week later, we were able to take her home with us!  We have had her a whole week now and I can honestly say, I could not have asked for a better dog. Maybe I'm in the honeymoon stage, but she has been perfect so far.  She hasn't had one accident, hasn't chewed anything she isn't supposed to, she sleeps through the entire night without whining or barking, and she hasn't even tried to get on the furniture.  She is a great mix of being playful but also calm.  She loves to play with her blue seahorse that she came with:

What I liked about the adoption agency is that they were very honest about what the dog was like.  They have on the bios if the dog is not good with kids or needs a lot of patience etc.  With Bella, they told us she likes to chase cats so she can't be at a house with cats.  We never plan to get a cat so that doesn't bother us!  They also told us when we adopted her that she has some separation anxiety.  I really didn't know what she meant by that and thought they were just over analyzing her.  But now I get it.  She follows Justin and I around everywhere we go.  I have accidentally stepped on her a dozen times because I didn't know she was right behind me.  She doesn't really know what personal space is.  Poor girl was found abandoned in a trailer park and has been at a few different fosters homes so she hasn't had a steady home.  She follows me to the bathroom and I have to shut the door to get some privacy!  I then open the door and she is right there.  She is a cutie!   I'm hoping that will pass with time.

It's surprising how attached Justin and I are to her after just a week....we have turned into those crazy dog people...something I thought I'd never be!  I actually forgot how much joy a dog can bring to a home.  Here she is learning how to fetch....

I have a feeling that there is another girl fighting for my husband's attention ;)

Okay I'm done talking about the dog....only 4 short months until we add another little addition into the family....I can't wait!

The Big 3-0

Yes it's true, I turned 30 last week and I'm not ashamed!  I not one of those girls who dreads turning 30 or is ashamed of her age, and I'm actually really looking forward to my 30's!  The 20's were obviously a great decade for me and filled with lots of change, including graduating from college, moving overseas for 2 years, living on my own, getting a job and then getting married!  But now I enter in my 30's with great anticipation and really looking forward to this new decade of marriage and parenthood! I have no doubt it will be filled with ups and downs, trials and triumphs, and tears and excitement.  I am truly thankful to walk through this journey with my life partner and best friend!

Okay so back to my birthday.  We realized awhile back that Justin was going to have a couple of weeks off of school the same time as my 30th birthday, so we knew we needed to do something outside of Houston to getaway.  We decided to go to New Orleans since we had never been there before together and my best friend Staci lives there now with her husband and I have been wanting to visit her.  It was a great trip that I hope to share more about in another post.  Here are some pictures from my birthday:

The day started out with breakfast beignets at the famous Cafe du Monde....so good!!

We then walked around Jackson Square and the French Quarter and did some sight seeing and shopping!  

We met some interesting people on the street....

And bought some cute NOLA hats to fit in...

We then went to lunch at a wonderful seafood restaurant, did some more walking, shopping and sight seeing and then went back to our hotel to clean up for dinner.  

The 4 of us went to dinner at a fun restaurant on Magazine that was really good!  

The night ended with what else but dessert!  We went to a cute little gelato place for birthday dessert

It was a wonderful birthday for sure and I'm so thankful for my hubby and Staci for making is so fun and special!  Of course I have to end my birthday post with a funny story about what my sweet and thoughtful hubby gave me for my birthday.  I must start with saying that it is very hard for my husband to surprise me.  My sweet man can not lie to save his life (which is a great quality) and I always know when he is trying to trick me or surprise me.  I can read him very well.  Anyway, the day before we left for our trip Justin asked me to get out the wrapping paper and tissue paper, etc so he could wrap my birthday gift.  He had told me a few times to not have high expectations since we are on a budget and this trip is a part of my bday present.  Of course I knew that and wasn't expecting anything big.  I did notice he spent a VERY long time wrapping my gift, but being that my hubby is a perfectionist, I didn't think much of it.  So on my birthday he gives me my gift perfectly wrapped in the hotel

At this point I have absolutely no idea what it is.  So I open up the gift and this is what I saw:

For those of you who don't know, this is a board game that we already own!  My heart literally sank when I opened up.  My first thought was "you gave your wife a board game we already own for her 30th birthday?" He then tells me in this exciting voice, "I know how much you like games!" He then tells me that he asked my mom for her input about what to give me and she told him that I like this game.  I am seriously falling for his entire gig.  I then sweetly say, "we actually already have this game....but that's okay."  And of course Justin is acting so upset with himself that he bought me a game that we already own.  I am telling him it's okay though I was secretly disappointed.  I don't remember exactly what I was thinking at this point, but something in me made me open up the box.  And this is what I saw in the box:

It's an iPad!!!  I couldn't believe it!  I was in such shock that my husband had bought me an iPad.  We are not the most techy couple and usually the last to get into the newest gadgets.  But I was SO excited and relieved that he didn't get me a board game!  I couldn't stop laughing as he definitely surprised me.  He was so thoughtful as we only have one computer that actually works well (our other computer is so slow there is no point to even get on it) and now I can get on the iPad when he's doing his school work.  I must say, my husband did good and it was definitely a memorable 30th birthday!