Dear Mother with Empty Arms...

Mother's Day is fast approaching which has many different emotions for me, which is why I'm doing a little Mother's Day Series.  I have a lot of post ideas in my head, but who knows how many I will end up doing.

***disclaimer:  I wrote most of this post last week before I saw all the other Mother's Day links similar to this going around on social media.  I debated not posting it, but decided to go ahead anyway.  For all you moms out there, please don't feel any guilt celebrating Mother's Day...it is a great thing to celebrate***

I am of course so thankful to be a new Mom on my first Mother's Day, but I also can't help to think of all the women out there who are hurting on this day.  All the women who have longed and dreamed of being a mom since they were little girls, but are going through another Mother's Day with empty arms.  I am not even going to pretend to know what is is like to experience infertility as that is not something I have had to walk through.  I'm not going to say if you only trust in Jesus more, he will give you a child.  I'm not going to tell you that you are not taking trials well because you show sadness and hurt (which are real emotions).  What I do know is this....

I do know the deep longing of wanting to be a mom as long as I could remember

I do remember dreading the Mother's Day service because you would not be standing up or getting a rose like all the other women

I do know what it is like to be in your late twenties, with most of your close friends married, and wondering if marriage would ever be in your future, let alone children

I do know the deep pain of losing 2 babies before having any children of your own

I do know that feeling of wondering if it would ever be possible to have children of your own

I do know the fear of walking into a fertility clinic so scared not knowing what the future holds

I do know the agonizing feeling of waiting for a phone call with important test results

I do remember all the pregnancy tests, and the hoping, praying, longing to see 2 lines

I do know the deep fear of losing a baby

Though I will never understand having empty arms year after year after year, these are the emotions I can relate to.  Let me first say I'm so sorry.  I'm sorry that your dream of having children has not happened yet...whether it be from prolonged singleness, infertility, or miscarriage, it's all so painful.  I'm sorry that churches make the pain even deeper by making you feel less of a woman because you're not a mom in the worlds standards.

I have mentioned before on this blog how miscarriage is a silent pain.  (you can read that blog post here: The silent pain of miscarriage)  I believe prolonged singleness is also a silent pain that many people do not talk about especially on Mother's Day.  If you do talk about the pain of prolonged singleness people will think you are desperate and aren't trusting God.  If you talk about your infertility or miscarriage, people get awkward and just don't know what to say as it has always been a taboo subject.  But what if on Mother's Day instead of churches only recognizing and honoring Mother's....what if we prayed fervently for couples longing for children or who have recently lost children due to miscarriage?  What if we prayed over singles desiring for marriage and children?  What if we prayed for couples who do have children for wisdom and guidance as we raise them?  There is so much more we can do for Mother's Day than to just hand a rose to all the Mother's and have them stand up during the service (though these things are not bad of itself)

Can I leave you with a little encouragement?  I am a testimony of someone having 2 miscarriages and then having a healthy baby boy.  I have seen first hand couples experience infertility for years and then the Lord gives them a child.  I know of another couple who could not have children and have adopted children and have helped many other couples throughout their adoption journey.  I have seen firsthand women in their late thirties and even early forties get married and go on to having children!  God can do what we think is impossible!  He has a most wonderful, perfect plan to bring Him glory that we don't understand at the time.  He is so good!  I am praying for you, dear Mother with empty arms this Mother's Day.