His Mercies are New Every Morning

Yesterday was a good day and a day that I will always remember.  And I truly believe it was because of everyone praying for us.  I first want to thank everyone for their overwhelming love, prayers and encouragement to me as I expressed my heart of the pain I was feeling over the loss of our baby.  Thursday, the day I wrote my blog, it was a week exactly since we heard our heartbreaking news.  And it was also the hardest day I had had yet, emotionally.  It seems that everyday, my emotional pain got worse and worse and I feared that it would never lift.  I decided to write about it and hesitated if I should even post it as I was being incredibly vulnerable.  But I just knew that for me, I needed to talk about it.  After posting my blog Thursday night, I was overwhelmed by the messages, e-mails and responses.  I had so many women tell me their stories and the pain that they went through.  It was all completely the Lord as he brought people to bring me such encouragement and hope.  That Friday morning I woke up and immediately felt different....I just knew more people were praying for me.  The Lord had given me such peace.  Justin had the day off and so we used the day to honor the memory of our precious baby.  We went shopping and picked out something as a memorial for our baby.  We also wanted to buy a little box to put our ultrasound pictures in, along with cards and letters that we had written since we found out we were pregnant.  Before buying the box, we decided to give our baby a name, which was recommended to us to do.  So, Justin and I decided on the name Faith for many different reasons.  We knew it was the Lord.  Immediately after we decided on that name, we saw a beautiful box that caught Justin's eye, and when we looked closer, the box had the name "Faith" on it.  We are thankful for the small little things the Lord has reminded us that He is near and His presence is with us. Though babies that die in the womb do not have funerals, and you don't have memorial services, yesterday was our time to just reflect and celebrate the life of our baby.  My heart had changed to "I wish this had never happened", to "I am so thankful the Lord gave us these 10 weeks to love our baby."  Each child is a blessing and I consider this beautiful gift such a blessing.  This has also brought Justin and I so much closer together as we have grieved together this week.  He has been incredibly loving and patient with me and our love has truly grown through this.  I am blessed beyond words for my loving husband the Lord has given me. 

Everyone had told me "His mercies are new every morning" and that it would get better.  After a week of grieving, I honestly didn't know if it would ever get better.  But Friday the Lord just moved in my heart in powerful ways.  Justin and I are reading the devotional Worship the King that the church is reading together.  Yesterday's Devotional was titled "God's Faithfulness".  It focused on Lamentations 3:22-23 which says, "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  It also says, "when the valley of the shadow of death is before us-God is faithful.  We may not understand exactly how He will be faithful, but we know He will because He said so.  And the faithful always keep their promises."

Your prayers for us have been powerful and the Lord is near to us.  I know it doesn't mean that I will never be sad or cry anymore...in fact, I became all sad again last night when I read something that reminded me of my loss, but the Lord gave me peace.  It was a great day and I am thankful that Joy does come in the morning.