Hannah's Hope

I just finished reading this book:

Hannah's Hope:  Seeking God's Heart in the midst of infertility, miscarriage, and adoption loss.  I had a friend recommend this book to me awhile back but I just put off reading it.  I stumbled across it again last month at the church book store and felt the Lord leading me to buy it.  Once I forced myself to start reading it, I didn't want to put it down.  It came at the perfect time since our 1st baby's due date is less than 2 weeks away.  She starts out the book by telling her story, which no one would even believe unless you read it yourself.  She struggled with infertility for over 8 years, had 2 miscarriages, and had over 5 adoption losses (I can't remember the exact number), one including an adoption scam.   I was emotionally spent just reading the first chapter.  I really couldn't believe one person had been through all of that.   God has been glorified greatly through all her suffering.   She has a ministry called Hannah's Hope where she ministers to thousands of women who are experiencing these same issues.  The book itself ministered to me greatly.  Each chapter takes you through the story of Hannah in the Bible and her experience with infertility.  

Not only was this book good for my heart to read for healing, but also it was so good for me to be able to relate to others.    What I love about the book is that it's not just for women who have experienced infertility themselves,  but it also gives a great perspective to friends and family of a loved one experiencing infertility/miscarriage.  Each chapter has a part directed to family or friends to help them understand what their loved one may be feeling and helpful things not to say to them.  I know I now have a completely different outlook for women who experience infertility than I did before the book.  There is also a chapter written to the church to help the church have a new perspective  for women going through infertility and miscarriage.  I'm thankful that HFBC has formed a Bible Study on Monday evenings for women going through infertility or miscarriage and they are reading this book together!  I also loved her perspective on handling Mother's Day and baby dedications at churches.  I have never really even thought about how incredibly painful those 2 days are for so many women in the church.  Many women longing to be mommies and receive the flower that is handed out.  Many women who have lost babies but no one considers them a real mom and get overlooked.  She stated how many women avoid Mother's Day and baby dedication day all together every year as it's understandably too painful.  She listed many ways churches could honor and bless these women.  One church simply had a bouquet of flowers on the stage and in the bulletin states the flowers are for women who have lost babies this year.  I've heard of another church having all the couples come to the front (only if they want to) who are experiencing infertility and the church laid hands on them and prayed for them.  Another single woman explained how she finally went to the Mother's Day service after avoiding it for years and had a prior student give her a flower stating she had been  like a mother to her.  There are many more stories but I pray the churches will not ignore all the women (single or married) who are secretly grieving the dream of having children.  

For Further Thought:  This was written at the end of the anguish and grief chapter that I thought was really good:

"In the Old Testament, a person in grief tore his robe and didn't run out to Kohl's to get a new one to go to church.  Women cut their hair.  Men shaved their beards.  There was weeping and wailing.  For a whole year, nobody expected you to look or be the way you were.  How wonderful!  But in our nutty society, the person who "keeps it together" who's "so brave", and who "looks so great--you'd never know," that's who is applauded.  Grief is not the opposite of faith.  Mourning is not the opposite of hope.  I believe that well-meaning Christians can try to hurry us out of our mourning because we make them uncomfortable.  The Bible does not say to cheer up the bereaved, but rather to "mourn with those who mourn."  Christ does not say we grieve because we are deficient in faith, but rather, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted (not rushed)" Matt 5:4