Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Happy Heaven Day Callie Grace

My Dearest Callie,

Happy Heaven Day!  Today marks one year of being with Jesus.  One year of no pain, no sickness, no sadness or fear.  One year of JOY all day, every day.  What an incredible thought!  A year ago was the absolute worst day of our lives.  Our lives were turned upside down, one minute you were with us and the next you were with Jesus.  It's still sometimes hard to wrap my mind around that.  We really miss you so much.  I didn't realize how much joy you brought into our family until after you were gone.  Sometimes I feel bad or sad for not being able to protect you like a mother is supposed to protect their child, but then I have to remind myself of the sovereignty of God and his perfect plan.  You were supposed to be with Jesus after only 18 months here on earth.  I don't know why, but July 4, 2016 was not just a random day, but a date that God knew before you were even born.  Your days were numbered and that brings me comfort.

I think about you all the time.  I'm always picturing what you would be doing and what you would be like.  The more time that passes away, the harder it is to picture you at what would be your current age.   I'm sad that I don't have the opportunity to watch you grow up.  To go to Kindergarten, to make friends, graduate from high school or get married.  I don't get to take you to see a girl movie or get pedicures or dress shopping.  I don't get to see how your little personality develops over the next few years.  I know God will restore the years that we have lost together.  We long for heaven now more than ever.  We are more aware that this is not our home.  Death does not have the final word. Maybe we will get the chance to raise you in heaven.  There is so much we don't know about heaven,  one thing we do know, it will be better than we ever thought or imagined and we will be with you again!

Your 18 months of life has touched many people.  You had such great purpose, even if I can't see it.  Today I think of heaven more than any other day of the year.  Today I grieve greatly for our loss, but rejoice in your gain.  Today I'm reminded of God's loving kindness and faithfulness in the midst of deep despair.  You are free baby girl.  You are free...

Love always and forever,
Your Mommy

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