The Fearless Woman

I never really considered myself a fearful person.  When I was little, I was never afraid of anything.  I would go on the scariest and tallest roller coasters, watch the scariest movies, and was very trusting towards strangers.  I could be alone at night and not think a thing of it.   I lived by myself in a foreign country and didn't bat an eye doing it.  I would go sky diving in a heartbeat if Justin approved (he doesn't think it's a good idea....he might be right).  With the exception of roaches and snakes, I don't know if I have a "fear" of anything.  And then, I had 2 miscarriages.  And now I realized how incredibly fearful I actually am.  Now that I am pregnant again, I have had more fear than I can ever remember.  And in a small way, I would justify my fear as normal and acceptable, being what I have gone through.  With all good intentions, others would also justify my fear saying that is completely normal and that they too are fearful for me.  I didn't think much of my fear...and then I read this quote by John Piper in the book, Momentary Marriage.  He is describing Christian womanhood.  It is based off of 1 Peter 3:6 " And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.”  


"So this portrait of Christian womanhood is marked first by hope in God and then by what grows out of that hope, namely, fearlessness. She does not fear the future; she laughs at the future. The presence of hope in the invincible sovereignty of God drives out fear. Or to say it more carefully and realistically, the daughters of Sarah fight the anxiety that rises in their hearts. They wage war on fear, and they defeat it with hope in the promises of God. Mature Christian women know that following Christ will mean suffering (2 Tim. 3:12). But they believe promises like 1 Peter 3:14, “But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled,” and 1 Peter 4:19, “Therefore let those who suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.” That is what Christian women do: They entrust their souls to a faithful Creator. They hope in God. And they triumph over fear."


Wow. I read that and immediately felt convicted.  I then read it a few more times and repented to the Lord for my anxiety over this pregnancy and my fearful attitude.  I then read it to Justin and we were able to talk about it for awhile.  It's nothing new to me.  I know that the Word commands us to not fear and to not be anxious.  I have known this, but in some strange way, I felt that I was this exception because of what I have been through.  I keep thinking about how we are supposed to laugh at the future.  It sounds so insensitive to laugh at the future but how true.  Hoping in the sovereignty of God drives out fear.  I wish I could say that I have now completely defeated all my fear with this pregnancy and I'm as cool as a cucumber, but I have realized it is a daily fight.  Some days are good, some days aren't.  But I will continue to fight fear with hope in the promises of God.